


Nyi Ma - Sun

by Jaelijn



Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Angst, Community: mere_appendix, Gen, Great Hiatus, Holmes's POV, Introspection, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Tibet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-04
Updated: 2010-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26045245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaelijn/pseuds/Jaelijn
Summary: Holmes watches the sunset over the Tibetan mountains during his Hiatus travels...





	Nyi Ma - Sun

**Author's Note:**

> _Archiving note:_ I am importing this fic to AO3 in August 2020 for archiving purposes. It has not been edited since its original publication in 2010. (The Tibetan & Chinese language/names are probably a mess...)
> 
>  _Original A/N on LJ:_ Song Prompt: Molitva – Marija Serifovic  
> Warnings: obvious spoilers, depressing fic...  
> Author's Note: All canon characters were created by ACD, all original characters belong to me and may not be used without my permission. Unbeta'ed. Cross-posted to mere_appendix.

“What are you thinking, _xian sheng_?”

I turned away from the brilliant sight of the sun setting behind the Tibetan mountains. Here, the sun descended as a golden plate, outlining the snow-covered, harsh outlines of the pass we had crossed during the day. Now, we had set up our tent for the night, and would indeed be wise to retire before night fell completely, but I had not been able to tear my eyes from the sight. For a moment, the sun had chased away the constant shivering I was experiencing lately, even when it was in fact quite warm.

The light seemed to have been blinding, even though I failed to notice it – I could account for no other reason why my eyes should water.

Facing my silent and faithful travelling companion, I stowed away my pipe, which had gone out long ago. I was running out of tobacco at any rate. “It is of no importance at all, _Li xian sheng_.” I had hoped he would cease calling me 'sir' after all the time we had spent together, but apparently 'Holmes' did not sit well with him, as excellent as his English was. In turn, I had refused to call him by his Christian name. There was no reason at all why he did not deserve the same respect as I. 

But truth be told, that was only part of the reason, and not the problem at all. I could not allow any familiarity. Not so long as every mountaintop reminded me of quite another set of mountains, quite another journey and companion. 

“You seem bothered.” Li An Bao regarded me with an expression that was akin to worry, but even so nothing could dissuade him to abandon the admiring distance that, in his opinion, befitted a guide in the mountains. 

I had been unsure, at first, whether I should accept his offer to accompany me, even though Mycroft had basically insisted that I should take him with me. After all, I longed most for the solitude and the calm, after those exhausting months. Why would I miss the company of any fellow human? I had lived happily without a companion for years. 

“It's really of no matter.” In fact, it was everything that mattered. Here, in the loneliness of the mountains, my thoughts were my most intimate companions. Thoughts, and memories.

In my mind, I could still quite clearly see the tremendous abyss from which the spray rose – sometimes, when I closed my eyes for the night, I could even feel the numerous drops of water on my cheeks. Mycroft feared for my sanity, therefore he had sent Li An Bao my way. 

As my guard returned to the tent to return to his bed, I turned once more towards the sunset – the light was blinding; the wetness in my eyes really was insufferable. 

How would I ever be able to find peace, even as far away from the civilization and the conundrums and stupidities of man as this, when there was nothing to set my mind at ease? Nothing to distract... Nothing to allow me to forget – I continued onwards, never ceased to move, never allowing myself too much time to contemplate the decisions I had made and could not take back... But...

How could I find peace when every sundown conjured up Watson's tear-stricken face as he wept over my supposed demise at the Reichenbach Falls?   
  


**Author's Note:**

>  _Original A/N on LJ:_ In case you wondered: Holmes and Li An Bao are speaking Chinese. The title of this ficlet is Tibetan, however.  
> And the song I was inspired by is here: [Molitva by Marija Serifovic](https://youtu.be/_5WwcmlniIQ)  
> It may be a good idea to listen to it while reading... I picked a video with English subtitles, however, I had no idea what the song was about when I wrote the above. I relied on sound and emotion alone.


End file.
